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Try to question yourself about all these. I may not be exhaustive but this is what I would ask myself as well :. Now of course if you have violent or really extreme, uncontrollable thoughts, you should see a doctor.
I don't think we could have a real conversation about those points either. That being sais, just be honest. I have no sympathy for people like you. As a man who married a non-Mormon woman, my story has a slightly different view point, but it comes down to essentially the same principles. Disney gives them the fantasy where they can easily achieve a standard of perfection with low risk.
You are a good person. Weirdly, one of the best sexes I ever had was with a lesbian who felt remorse and as though she had betrayed her fellow lesbians. A lot of people are religious. There will be sacrifices but I am hopeful.